Sunday 27 June 2010

'Smoked' Trout, Caballa a la Plancha

Man is it hot today! Which really I think is terrible BBQ weather, I mean, you're hot, getting sunburned out in your garden, and you've got to mess about with a load of fire as well. I've been known to barbecue in October under an umbrella, or at Christmas time, wearing a big thick jumper. That's the time to go for it with some white hot coals. Not when it's so hot that you feel yourself melting and you absolutely don't want to eat a thing.
Anyway, the new next door neighbours have put up a pretty high fence between our gardens which means no more borrowing a cup of sugar, and also not too much sun in our back yard. This recipe is from a book I bought in a charity shop near my office, entitled optimistically 'Creme de Colorado' hahahahahaha, right? Apparently no, despite having a rather odd premise, and being published in the 80s, this book has a bizzare cult following on Amazon, it is 'never fail' and 'sure to impress'.
So here we go, this marinade is for smoked trout, but I suppose that it would work just as well on the old barbie.
I don't really know that much about Colorado, other than what I saw in Cannibal! The Musical, but for a state populated entirely by cannibals, this book is surprisingly fish heavy... You know, when somebody makes a joke, you're supposed to laugh. Anyway, here we go.
There's a lot of garlic and parsley in this recipe, you basically brine the fish for a few hours and then it's ready for the smoker/ whatever.
I'm also making mackerel today, a very simple recipe from this Tapas book I've used before, just rub it with some garlic, oil, and paprika and leave for a few hours.
OK, party time!

We poured some of the brine over the coals to produce a bit of smoke, but they only needed a few minutes on each side.
Result: The trout tastes trouty. The Boyfriend used to have a thing against fresh water fish, it tends to taste kind of muddy, and earthy. I personally can't stand carp, it's big in Eastern Europe but the taste is just too strong for me. I've never had that kind of problem with trout, until now. These were pretty big, or maybe the brine accentuated the flavour. But maybe I'm just nitpicking because the mackerel was so much better by comparison! (might brine overnight the next time)
Mackerel can be a little bitter sometimes, but this was amazingly sweet and juicy. I was hoping to take some to work the next day but there was nothing left!
Boo to burgers and save the steak for Santa, BBQ fish is where it's at.

Mock Apricot Flan with Oatmeal Pastry

I often get home from work and want to cook something, but having not planned it in advance I find that I haven't got the right ingredients and that's totally a good reason to lose it, throw a tantrum, go to bed early and cry myself to sleep. (the very opposite of keeping calm and carrying on, get it?)
This recipe is from a nostalgia cookbook compiled by Marguerite Patten, who worked for the Ministry of Food during World War II and came up with clever ideas for using up what little food there was. I'm very into this idea, and even more into the idea of giving people something to eat and then shouting 'Surprise! That's not what you think it is! Man, I can't believe you guys fell for it'
In the true spirit of the war, I'm making do with what I have, so instead of apricot jam I'm using my dad's quince jelly, vanilla instead of almond essence, and I'm throwing a few apples and cherries in there with the carrots for the filling.
Result: Well it ain't gonna win no beauty parade, that's for sure, but amazingly it really does taste like apricots! The 'crust' is not the best, it's pretty dry and flaky, but if it was on top, instead of the bottom, it would be a pretty nice fruit crumble.
But, to be honest, vegetables disguised as fruit is nothing new. There's another recipe in here of how to make lemon curd out of marrow (the worst vegetable in the world) instead of eggs. What I really want to learn is how to make roast beef out of a plum.

Japan #2




I don't want to dwell on this for too long because it wasn't the success I really wanted it to be. I'm still totally obsessed with Yakitate Japan! It hasn't bee updated for a while, I'm stuck on chapter 235 and I'm desperate to find out if Azuma defeats the bread monster Maou (if you don't know what the hell I'm talking about have a look here )
This is a Manga series about making bread, Azuma is some kind of bakery savant and everything he makes looks absolutely delicious. There area couple of recipes in the series that are, presumably, intended for Manga nerds who can't cook. So really this should be simple and straight forward. Well, lets have a look. I don't really need to explain anything. Here are the ingredients, I wanted to use up the wholemeal flour I had, but nothing prepared me for what happened next.
Result #1:
It's like a brick! 6 hours of preparation for a slightly burned on the outside, undercooked on the inside brick. Remember swimming lessons when the instructor would trow a rubber brick into the deep end of the pool and you had to dive in and get it? That is the weight and texture of this 'product'. I'm sad :(
Result #2:
Since this is Japan Bread #2 I felt compelled to try again. I put it in the warmest place I could think of, covered with pillows and towels to give it the best possible chance to rise. I kneaded it carefully, and gently placed it in the rice maker to steam-bake. Slightly better, more airy, but still undercooked in the middle. I think the culprit is either the fact that our rice maker is a lot bigger than the recommended size, or that you should not take cooking tips from nerdy geeks!

Wednesday 23 June 2010

Beef and Coconut Macaroni

As far as I can tell, his is how Karma works - nice things always end up happening to me. And when people say 'Karma's a bitch' that means that they're super jealous of me and how my boy karma always sorts me out and not them. Right? Well no, but it's a nice, unusually optimistic sentiment for me, so lets pretend that's the case for the next 5 minutes.
About a month ago, I got rid of that awful Jay Rayner book by leaving it in a bar, and last week I found a much better food book, in a better bar, and I got more drunk that day too.
The Settler's Cookbook is the story of one family's journey from India into Uganda and onwards to Britain, from the beginning of the century up to now. And while the author, Yasmin Alibhai Brown, seems a little self satisfied at times it is in a way that is a polar opposite of Rayner's tone of bland superiority. Bah, I'm still angry at him.
Anyway, history buffs, I had no idea that there was an enormous community of Asians in Uganda. Almost a quote from Big Lebowski, they were the guys who built the rail roads there. It's an incredible story, very engaging, and I love the idea of combining a family history with recipes. Everywhere she goes and everything she does is defined by a dish or meal, and so it should be, when I first moved to London I missed my grandmother - and the breakfasts she used to make me, the loaves of bread she used to bring in after work, and the pies she used to bake. However, my family history is not interspersed with graphic scenes of violence under Idi Amin. One minute she's giving a recipe for carrot pickle and on the next page there's a description of her university dorm mates being gang raped, tortured and murdered. Read the whole book if you have a strong stomach, just skim through the recipes if you don't.
Alibhai Brown's special source of annoyance is people who, like herself, have no real origin, rejecting their Indian roots. This recipe is from the last chapter of the book, served to her in the home of some ex-pats, proud of of their new found taste for macaroni.
You fry up some onions then throw in the beef and cover in water (plain water again, I already don't like where this is going) and chuck in the oven. Then parboil the macaroni, add to the beef, cover with coconut milk and mashed mango and bake for a few more minutes.
Result: I really wish I had picked one of the family recipes at the beginning of the book, a rich biriyani, or elaborate dhal, not this wierd fusion dish.
No matter how briefly I precooked the macaroni, it still ended up being overcooked, and the beef was tough. Despite the tempting smells emanating from the oven, the promised taste never materialised - never cooking anything in plain water again. Overall, not horrible, but not that great. A medium pasta bake. But I've got my eye on almost every other recipe in the book, so we'll see. If I'm taking away any lasting message is that the human spirit can overcome and adversity and there's always something to look forward to.

Monday 14 June 2010

Garlic soup from Salamanca

I hate soup, I always get depressed when I have to eat it. Well that's not true, but soup is just so utilitarian, and always fills you up in the most practical way that I don't find any joy in eating it (stupid girl, this is why you're fat, food isn't supposed to bring you joy! Go out and get some friends) That's evidence of my depression manifesting into some kind of fully blown mental disorder - an alternate soup personality narrative (oh shut up).
Anyway, I picked this cute 70's book up in Oxfam (sorry about the tiny picture), I had a massive clear out a few days ago and cleared out about two shelves of books, so what better than to fill them straight up again! Never mind that after a spree I usually don't have any money left over to buy ingredients to make any meals, Theodora Fitzgibbon shows you how to make the most of it! Most of the recipes in this book call for only a few simple ingredients to make a variety of tasty quick nutritious meals for the whole family. Most recipes include a tip of what to do with leftovers, and there is even a chapter in the back about foraging for free stuff - very popular these days.
From what I understand Theodora (bitchin' name, by the way) travelled quite a bit, and has certainly written a buttload of different cookbooks, so there are a lot of Eastern European, Asian and Mediterranean recipes in the book, as well as traditional English, Scottish and Irish stuff.
I settled on this garlic soup because it looked incredibly easy, and I'm crazy about garlic (it's supposed to be a great mood elevator, I hear).
Basically, you fry up some whole cloves of garlic, then fry a little white bread in the garlic oil, and pour in some water, shove the pulverized garlic back in with some parsley and chorizo and then serve in a bowl over a poached egg. It takes about 10 minutes.
Result: I was actually too hungry to bother taking a photograph before I inhaled this, but I did take a picture of the ingredient that gave this soup most of it's flavour

Yes that's a garlic and parsley stock cube that the boyfriend's mum bought in a Portugese deli, and it was delicious!
About a minute before I turned the heat off and got ready to serve I gave it a little taste, and would you believe it, 6 cloves of garlic dissolved in 3 pints of water doesn't really yield a very strong taste! Reader, I was as shocked as you are, but apparently the equivalent of a teaspoon of garlic and a litre and a half of plain water don't magic into a substantial broth, incredible. The boyfriend decided that this was a typical example of the dumbing down of authentic cuisine for plebeian local tastes, but I'm going to be more generous and assume that '6 cloves of garlic' was meant to read '6 bulbs of garlic'.
Now the look, I always intended this blog to be very visual, so since I forgot to take a picture I'll try and describe the appearance as best I can. Imagine a thick slick of red oil entirely covering the creamy gray liquid beneath (Google 'BP disaster' if you're having trouble visualizing it). Artfully suspended in the almost entirely flavourless oil are shards of parsley, and just below, you can see sinister globs of gluten from the not quite dissolved hunks of bread. That's what you get for not cooking off the chorizo before adding it to the soup, and not chopping the slices of bread into tiny croutons.
APART FROM THAT IT WAS DELICIOUS!!!

Thursday 3 June 2010

The thin line between convalescence and being a layzeeass

Yes dear friends, I tread that line every day. No no, let me finish, I'm just like you, I wake up and put my pants on one leg at a time, just like everybody. But unlike everybody after I do that I'm just as likely to go back to bed and start reading a book.
But my finger is all better now so normal activities will resume soon.

In the mean time, here is what I've been reading for the last three weeks:
This copy of In Search of Perfection by Heston Blumenthal (or Hector Blabber-ball, you can tell, we're such good friends) was less than half price at the local discount bookshop otherwise I never would have bought it. To be honest I find his TV shows uniquely annoying, him smug; his guests are always drunk, his sous chefs are snobs, and his reliance on truffles, foie gras, and Japanese ingredients is boring.
However, in print his enthusiasm for food is very engaging, and whilst I don't envision his recipe for roast chicken (two days of work, boys and girls!) ever having an outing in my kitchen, I love the research, passion and intelligence he writes it with.

Hector's diametrical companion is Jay Rayner. I thought I liked him and appreciated his writing in The Guardian, but discovered that taken out of the weekly restaurant reviews, his aggressive, condescending rhetoric is pretty nauseating. In the book he travels the world ostensibly looking for the best meal, but in reality deliberately going to places he can mock for their opulence and pretension. He makes a big deal out of wrestling with the ethics of accepting free meals, hotels and flights (which he finds deplorable) but accepts nonetheless - charming. I didn't actually finish the book, I left it under my chair in a cheesy wine bar to hopefully find a more appreciative owner. The final straw for me was his description of Moscow. He is offered an all expenses paid trip in return for a favourable review of a dubious restaurant in London, he 'grudgingly' accepts and spends his time ensconced in 5 star bullet proof luxury, complaining about the price of the only meal he had to pay for, the sub-par food he has to eat, and the possibility of being shot at any moment (what?). In contrast I am now reading More Caviar by Art Buchwald who drives to Moscow from Paris in an absolutely free Chrysler Imperial, complete with driver, makes fun of place names and customs and still manages to come across sympathetic and personable. The difference is in the attitude.

OK, enough vitriol, the last book I read is totally wholesome Nella Last's War is a collection of exerts from a diary of a British housewife during the Second World War. She writes about how she comes into her own for the first time in her life, and how all the work she does around the house and in the community is finally being recognised and appreciated. She writes a lot about their meals and rationing and their lives actually seem not to be affected by the shortages of food because of her clever management. It's very inspiring. She recounts a moment from when she first got married and asked her husband whether he liked a particular meal she'd prepared and he replies 'Why should I tell you if I like it? I'll tell you if anything is wrong, though', and his attitude changes when he sees all the other men getting terrible meals because their wives can't cook. There's another bit in the book when the doctor comes to see her for a cold, notices that she's made some bread and mentions that they haven't had bread in a while because there isn't any in the shops and his wife doesn't know how to make it from scratch. I'd imagine even less people know how to make their own bread now, I'd really like to learn.

I think deep down my fantasy has always been to be a housewife and run a home properly. I know, what a loser, right? I'd probable spend my entire day reading blogs and cool stuff online like this totally appropriate Manga my brother turned me on to!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yakitate!!_Japan
It's the story of a young boy in Japan who tries to make the ultimate Japanese bread. Bread isn't really a staple over there and the comic tries to promote the slow food movement and craftsmanship in a modern way. Seriously, all they do, all the time is enter bread making competitions. The author does a crazy amount of research and explains the history of each bread they make, as well as the chemical processes that are at work in each ingredient combination. It sounds nerdy but it isn't, and it's totally addictive, you can read it online for free here
http://www.onemanga.com/Yakitate_Japan/1/01/
(btw, the guy with the afro is my dream man)
The author also includes a few recipes of easy to make at home breads. Here's is a virtually no knead version that I might try.