Bresaola and Duck Prosciutto

So just in case anyone was wondering, I'm not totally lazy, I haven't stopped cooking, and I haven't made anyone sick yet (although that may be about to change...)
I've imposed some rather strict rule for myself to follow, only to cook from books, and it has become increasingly difficult to ignore the wealth of culinary information available from other sources - namely, the internet. In the last week I made:

-The best carrot cake ever, ohmygodohmygodohmygod! Even my pathetic baking skills couldn't mess this up
http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/4425/carrot-cake

-Octopus terrine, so beautiful, delicious, and easy. Totally worth the £25 I paid for a giant octopus (even though the fishmonger tried to persuade me not to take it!)
http://www.cuisine.com.au/recipe/Octopus_terrine

-Hugh's curried goat, took all fricking day, but made me very popular
http://www.channel4.com/food/recipes/chefs/hugh-fearnley-whittingstall/curry_goat_p_1.html

-Madhur's mango curry, I hate mango(because it tastes like onions to me), but this was amazing
http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/database/mangocurry_5073.shtml

-I also tried and failed to make kale chips, nothing wrong with the recipe, but something wrong with my head for leaving them in the oven to burn while I watched Gilmore Girls (nothing wrong with my head for watching Gilmore Girls though)
http://www.thekitchn.com/thekitchn/vegetable/recipe-kale-chips-068449

Anyway, I'm back now, and I've decided that what I really need is a project, something challenging that will teach me a new skill and impress the pants off of everyone I know. And after I learn how to tap dance I'll tell you how I got on with the old bresaola and duck prosciutto (hahahahaha, you see, that was a joke. Whan someone makes a joke, you're supposed to laugh otherwise you just make yourself look bad, get it?)

I bought Ruhlman and Poleyn's Charcuterie because I saw it mentioned on a few blogs as the ultimate introduction to preserving meat. I always linger around the deli counters drooling over all the interesting continental produce and of course homemade is best! (this is where the making people sick part comes in)
Despite the big seemingly useless garden - apple tree, who needs you! - I am pretty far away from getting any kind of a smokehouse, which leaves me to play with all the air dried recipes in the book, most of which call for Curing Salt #2, commonly known as Pink Salt, saltpetre or sodium nitrate. This can be a carcinogen when heated so I'm not really into eating any of it, but it does prevent cured meat from developing botulism bacteria. After weighing up the risks of either cancer in twenty years or instant death, I finally decided not to add any to my meats, this is a personal choice that I discussed with my family, we believe that risk is so small as to be almost nonexistent, and I definitely won't be sharing any of the produce with anyone else. The majority of domestic botulism outbreaks are found in improperly canned food, not cured meat, anyway. However, don't take my advice under any circumstances, nobody's holding a gun to your head! (or you could always do the mouse neutralization test, good luck getting a petshop to sell you mouse though, sicko)
So, lets start with the bresaola. I forgot to put sugar in this picture, and almost forgot to put it in the cure. Bad, stupid girl, one day I'll learn how to read properly!
You blend all the herbs and spices, rub the meat all over, put it in a plastic food bag in the fridge and leave it for a week, then take it out, pour off the liquid that has collected, add more cure and leave in the fridge for another week. Then rince, dry and hang in a cool humid palce for 3 weeks.
As you can see I had a pretty small piece of beef. *SOMEBODY* bought the wrong cut and anfter all the fat and sinew was trimmed away there wasn't a lot left. There is a lot of confusing information floating around regarding the optimal cure ingredients (or marinade in some cases), the time it takes, and weight of the meat, but I'm pretty sure that this piece is a but too small. We'll see.
Also, I bought a stupid little gizmo to tell me the temperature and humidity of all the rooms in my house so that I can find the best place to hang this bad boy, and I'm frankly just too stupid to figure out how to work it, which is why I'm also making...

Duck Prosciutto!
This only takes 8 days to cure, so hopefully that will give me the chance to roadtest a couple of hanging spots before the beef comes out.
This recipe is a lot simpler, they boyfriend went to his local sexist, misogynistic butcher to get the duck breasts for me and I'm sure they shared some winks and sleazy grins, urgh. I far prefer the butcher near where I live, who looks at me like I'm crazy when I ask for gross disgusting bodyparts.
Check it out, that's a box and a half of salt covering the duck and it's still only half of the amount prescribed in the book. I didn't realise I was going to have to pawn my gold jewelry for salt money, sheesh!

Update on the duck tomorrow xoxo