Sweet and Sour Pork

The boyfriend went to Spain for a long weekend to visit his mum - what a selfish bastard!
When you're living in a flat you can barely afford you kind of stop going out, and when your other half goes away for four days all your sources of entertainment vanish - you can't play drinking games on your own, I've tried, it doesn't work. I don't know how single people do it.
But the one good thing about being on my own is getting to indulge the cheesy, awful cravings that no one must ever know about. My local charity shop is always a good source of food porn.
I love Chinese food, it's my go to takeaway, and there's one thing that I always want and can't persuade anyone else to split with me. The sweet and sour, gross yuk yuk yuk, but I just can't resist that toxic looking sauce. I always thought there was a mystery to Chinese cooking, but look, come on this is just ketchup and vinegar! According to the book, this is an authentic dish - ahem, excuse me while I don't believe you, but whatever, check out these ingredients.
Pork, yeah ok. Pepper and onion, makes sense. Egg and cornflour for deep frying (which I hate doing, it's just so dangerous! And the fire blanket in my new kitchen is hung just out of reach near the ceiling, very exciting). Ketchup, is a totally bullshit ingredient, the boyfriend usually doesn't let me keep this stuff in the house (watch this, all about how mayonnaise is better than ketch on your chips). Rice wine vinegar, an entire fricking bag of sugar (!) and two jars of mystery vegetables - the recipe called for Chinese pickles, nice and vague.
Result: Yeah, my pancreas has been getting pretty snooty lately, what with all the insulin production, and trying to digest all my food like he runs the place. You gotta show em who's boss, so I like to threaten him with a bit of diabetes whenever I get the chance. He can take it, this didn't really have a whole bag of sugar, only 170g. And really that's only a teacup full, but you're not meant to eat the whole serving yourself, this is meant for 2 people, so it's more like 85g of sugar each. The recommended daily allowance is 90g so we're free and clear! (ketchup contains sugar... but... um.. shut up).
So, little jokes aside this was really way too sweet. It tasted just how you would expect, which was great, but I never want any ever again. I'm not a snob, and I don't really care about what goes in my food, as long as that food is totally delicious and not something that people would have to dare you to eat (this is what a boyfriend is for, people). This was nice, but I would probably not make it again. And I just can't get this reference out of my head